You’re darn right it is. For the first time, I’ve been giving my kid a healthy dose of “reality.” That’s not to say that his life has been all sunshine and rainbows. But Noah has not really faced any struggles. This week, however, Ken had to travel for work and therefore we were alone in Costa Rica for the first time. We were doing alright… until I fell. Well, actually I sprained my ankle, then fell.

Once Ken had left Noah and I enjoyed a lazy Sunday by the pool, we played games, he played Ken’s video games… it was a great time. When Monday rolled around we continued with school. I’ve started to incorporate some 2nd grade reading level assignments, and we’re practically done with 1st grade math (he’s taking his Summative Assessment right now. Wish him luck!). Noah and I went for walks to the little shopping center at the bottom of our hill. We’d look for lizards, birds, all sorts of animals, and we’d stop at the bakery for Noah’s favorite cookie or a loaf of bread.

We’d stroll along in the sun, sometimes along the beach or just to the shops. It was a nice relaxing first couple of days. With our afternoons spent by the pool, and our evenings inside with games, it was really only after Noah went to bed that I’d find myself bored. Eventually I caught up on some Netflix. Problem solved.

Meanwhile, back in the states, Ken was in NYC at various meetings being all important and cold and stuff. Then on Tuesday he took off from Newark for Las Vegas. I know. Poor guy. He was on to the second leg of his trip and would be in Vegas until Friday.

On Thursday, as Ken was preparing for an important presentation, I was contemplating what to do after school with my child. I was G-Chatting with my friend Lindsay (who, btw, does a local farm/veggie CSA and she’s amazing so if you need veggies check her out), and I asked her to convince me to leave the house. She told me to do “whatever made me happy.” Because she, unlike myself, was locked in a room with children and couldn’t even use the bathroom until the bell rang. Acutely aware that my “struggles” weren’t really that bad, and with my life’s decisions resting only on my shoulders (thanks, but no thanks), we organized a small bag of supplies and went on our way to the beach.

This was a great decision. Noah was having a blast. I was enjoying watching him and soaking up the sunshine. He was digging, making a mess of the sand, and the breeze was blowing – I was happy with myself.

We started to get hungry and ate the small snacks I brought. I decided we’d spend another 10 minutes, then be on our way. No argument from my child (hooray!), and we were off. This is when it happened. My unsuspecting foot landed in a pothole. Down I went.

I’m no stranger to a sprained ankle. In fact, soccer made sure my right ankle will never look like a normal ankle again. I imagine that as I get older, my right ankle will suck. To my surprise it was my LEFT ankle, old reliable, that went down, taking my entire body with it. If you’re a parent or person around a bunch of kids (hey teacher friends!), then you know you can’t freak out when something happens to you. It freaks the kids out. There I was, in excruciating pain, and Noah goes, “You ok, mommy? You scared me! You’re sitting down? Ok, I’ll sit next to you.” I was just nodding and “mm hmm-ing” him while silently screaming, crying, and cursing in my head.

I powered through and was able to hobble the quarter mile back to our condo before my body gave out. On the couch with my foot in the air, I was essentially down for the count.

This caused a series of events to happen: I wasn’t able to move about as usual and Noah had to legit become the man of the house. He had to move the chair to reach the Advil I needed. He had to make his own sandwich. He had to bring me the water jug and a cup just so I could pour myself a drink. This was a wake-up call for him and, in all honesty, for me. Up until now, I’d do most things for my son. I like doing things for my son. But right now, I physically can’t. He was forced to “work.” For the most part, he was great. He has a way of realizing when things aren’t normal, and he compensates.

However, his frustration with this added responsibility, and mine with my lack of movement and pain, came to a head when we had to make our way to the airport on Saturday to pick up Ken. Hobbling around the condo, getting dressed, and finally getting to the car took all my energy. It’s hot in Costa Rica. The stairs are steep and awkward. So when I finally got to the overheated car, drove it to the gate, and had to get back out of the car to open the gate, I was already at the max for my patience. When I got back into the car and I heard his little, squeaky voice say, “Geez, can you move the car already? My arm is hot in the sun!” I lost it. I lost all of it.

“You’re HOT!?!? I can’t WALK!!! I swear I’ve been…” To be honest I don’t remember the entire tirade, but it ended with me exclaiming: “Noah, life is hard! Things aren’t easy! You’re going to have to learn to deal!” In hindsight, this wasn’t the best reaction I could have had, and its something that I think all parents struggle with (keeping your cool when nothing is going your way). I did apologize for my reaction afterwards, but still made it clear why I wasn’t happy with what he was saying to me.

While we waited for Ken we eventually went back to normal: laughing and joking around. When Ken’s plane landed not much later, we were all relieved he was home.

Since the airport is so close to the city of Liberia, we headed for one of our favorite places, Tierra Mar. I asked Ken if his flight was “easy,” and that triggered Noah: “Mommy said that ‘life is hard,’ Daddy. And you have to deal with it.”

When he repeated my life lesson, Ken burst into laughter. My husband knew I had hit my wits end. I laughed hearing my words of wisdom come out of my child. Noah thought we were just being silly not realizing the toll being alone had taken on me.

Despite all my frustration, I learned this: my disability for these last few days and not having Ken around gave Noah a new outlook. He knows what I do, and he knows what he has to start to do. I became aware of just how much his little shoulders can hold. Did he make the best PB&J sandwich ever? Nope. But did he make it himself? Yup. And he was super proud.

Now that Ken’s back, he and Noah are off on adventures finding birds and animals. Ken’s also here to cook, clean, get me water… I’m still healing and I haven’t been more than 15 feet from the condo in days. I was able to hobble to the pool and back, but Ken wasn’t crazy about that. So here I am, laid up. In paradise.

PS – my mom sent Ken back with a container of cookies for Noah. They lasted from Saturday until Tuesday. Noah is a cookie monster. Also, check out his new goggles! Pretty cool!